


Selfies & Cinnamon Swirls

by thewaterfalcon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Texting, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 04:23:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12880107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewaterfalcon/pseuds/thewaterfalcon
Summary: Ron just wants Pansy...whilst Draco just wants a cinnamon swirl...& possibly Harry!





	Selfies & Cinnamon Swirls

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh! I don't even know...I've had major writer's block and this kind of nonsense is all I can manage atm.

 

* * *

 

Ron: Hey Pansy, it’s Ron. Just wanted to say what a great time I had last night, and hope we could do it again sometime. 

 

Ron: Shit I sent it! I just said this - Hey Pansy, it’s Ron. Just wanted to say what a great time I had last night, and hope we could do it again sometime. 

 

Ron: Oh no

 

Ron: Ignore that second message

 

Ron: Oh Merlin! I just sent her 2 messages - one to her and one to you saying what I’d say to her. Fuck. 

 

Ron: Well now I want to die. 

 

Pansy: Wow, Weasley. Could you be any more tragic? 

 

Ron: Holy shit she’s responded. 

 

Pansy: Apparently you can 

 

Ron: Can we start again? 

 

Pansy: I think that’s probably for the best. 

 

Ron: I had a great time last night

 

Pansy: I am quite aware Weasley, you aren’t exactly fluent in the language of subtlety. 

 

Ron: To be fair, neither are you. 

 

Pansy: Excuse me? 

 

Ron: Let’s just say it’s a good job you have no neighbours...

 

Pansy: No idea what you’re talking about

 

Ron: No? Do you need me to remind you? 

 

Pansy: I do not

 

Ron: ‘Harder Weasley Harder!’ Not ringing any bells? 

 

Pansy: None, whatsoever. You’re delusional. 

 

Ron: Maybe you need a more physical reminder…

 

Ron: That short term memory loss can’t be healthy…

 

Pansy: If this is how you ask a girl out, Weasley, let me give you a pointer - it’s not particularly endearing 

 

Ron: I’m very endearing…

 

Ron:  

 

Ron: See? 

 

Pansy: Ugh, look at your face

 

Ron: You saved it, didn’t you? 

 

Pansy: Absolutely not 

 

Ron: I bet I’m your wallpaper now 

 

Pansy: I do not need your gormless face leering at me whenever I look at my phone 

 

Ron: You liked my gormless face leering at you last night 

 

Pansy: ...maybe 

 

Ron: Definitely 

 

Pansy: *rolls eyes* 

 

Pansy: I’m going out, I might talk to you later if I don’t happen to find a more handsome and interesting man...which is fairly likely now, let’s be honest...so I wouldn’t wait up for my message if I were you 

 

Pansy:

 

Ron: Fuck 

 

Pansy: What? 

 

Ron: You look gorgeous 

 

Pansy: I know (; 

 

Ron: Pansy? 

 

Pansy: I’m almost here, what? 

 

Ron: Even if he is more handsome and interesting, he won’t want to see you again as much as my gormless face does. 

 

Pansy: Damn Weasley, what happened? 

 

Ron: Huh? 

 

Pansy: That was *almost* smooth

 

Ron: Have a great time, Pansy 

 

* * *

 

 

Draco: How was lunch? 

 

Daphne: It was...okay...but Pans spoke about Ron Weasley the entire time, so that was fun

 

Draco: Yeah...They hooked up last night 

 

Daphne: I KNOW! I now know every tiny detail from last night! 

 

Draco: LOL! 

 

Daphne: So, how is the stalking of Harry Potter going? 

 

Draco: Malfoys don’t stalk 

 

Daphne: Uh huh...What’s he wearing today? 

 

Draco: Oh my god Daph, he’s wearing THE grey shirt 

 

Daphne: The fitted one? 

 

Draco: Yes! 

 

Daphne: Have fun trying to hide your boner (; 

 

Draco: If your mother knew you uttered the word ‘boner’ you’d be disowned 

 

Daphne: If yours knew that, if you have it your way, she’s never going to have grandchildren and the closest she’ll get to a daughter in law is Harry Potter, so would you 

 

Draco: Touché 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Pansy: 

 

Ron: Oh my god 

 

Pansy: Is that a good oh my god or a bad oh my god? 

 

Ron: Good. Always good, especially when you send me pictures like that 

 

Pansy: I’m a bit tipsy

 

Ron: You’re a lot gorgeous 

 

Pansy: If you were here I’d let you kiss me...

 

Ron: I’m on my way

 

Pansy: The Floo is open…

 

* * *

 

  
  


Harry: Where are you? Those reports need handed in

 

Ron: No, I don’t think they do...

 

Harry: They need handed in now! 

 

Ron: How does the 41st of next month suit you?

 

Harry: Where are you? 

 

Ron: ...at my desk

 

Harry: 

 

Harry: Nice try 

 

Ron: Ugh, I tried to be nice but this is boring me now. Piss off Potter, I have better things to do than your stupid ducking reports 

 

Harry: Errr…

 

Ron: *fucking

 

Ron: Did those ugly glasses stop working?

 

Harry: Who is this?

 

Ron: Someone absolutely incredible

 

Ron: I suppose that gives the game away that it’s not Weasley 

 

Harry: Oh no...really?

 

Harry: Please tell me it’s not!

 

Ron: Well, that’s just insulting. I’m better than you’ll ever have that’s for sure...unlucky Potter

 

Ron: How’s Draco, by the way?

 

Harry: Are you sleeping with Pansy?!?!!! 

 

Ron: Technically, I’m sleeping with Weasley…

 

Harry: Give Ron his phone back 

 

Ron: 

 

Harry: A SIMPLE ‘HE’S ASLEEP’ WOULD HAVE SUFFICED PANSY

 

* * *

 

Draco: Potter, I need to see you about a matter of utmost importance.  

 

Harry: I swear Malfoy, if the matter is that you’re hungry again, I’m going to hex you. 

 

Draco: Not hungry. 

 

Harry: Okay, what? 

 

Draco: Starving! 

 

Harry: …

 

Draco: Potter, I’m wasting away here 

 

Draco: Potter!? 

 

Draco: POTTER?! 

 

Draco: 

 

Draco: Do you see how enraged I am?! 

 

Harry: I can see how ridiculous you are 

 

Draco: So, about that food 

 

Harry: For fuck’s sake 

 

Draco: Is that a yes? 

 

Draco: Because from where I’m sitting, it sounds like a yes 

 

Harry: What the fuck do you want? 

 

Draco: A Caesar salad 

 

Harry: Really? 

 

Draco: ...yes 

 

Harry: Anything else? 

 

Draco: No. 

 

Draco: But, if you happen to purchase those cinnamon things again and are unable to eat them both...I would be gracious enough to prevent one from going to waste 

 

Harry: You want a cinnamon swirl, right 

 

Draco: No, Potter, I do not *want* a cinnamon swirl, I am simply committed to the cause of reducing food wastage 

 

Harry: Okay, I’ll just buy the one pack then, that way there’ll be no waste 

 

Draco: I see what you’re doing 

 

Harry: Do you? 

 

Draco: …

 

Harry: At shop now, got your salad and my swirl. Back soon. 

 

Draco: Get me a fucking swirl, you shit. 

 

Harry: I already did (; 

 

Draco: I hate you

 

* * *

 

  
  


Ron: Mate, I need to talk to you. Free for a drink later? It’s not the kind of thing I want spread around the office 

 

Harry: If it’s about you sleeping with Pansy Parkinson, I already know

 

Ron: WHAT? 

 

Ron: How did you know? 

 

Harry: Read up ^^ in your messages 

 

Ron: Oh Merlin! 

 

Ron: That’s my arse! 

 

Harry: Indeed it is, my friend, indeed it is 

 

Ron: Sorry about that 

 

Harry: Not that I don’t trust your judgement and all but…are you sure? 

 

Ron: Yeah…

 

Ron: Fuck, I really am sure

 

Harry: Then I’m happy for you...I will take you up on that drink though, there’s something I wouldn’t mind some advice on

 

Ron: Apparently he fancies you too, mate

 

Harry: What. 

 

Ron: 

 

Harry: Bloody hell

 

Harry: How did you know? 

 

Ron: At this stage, man, everybody knows 

 

Harry: What do I do? 

 

Ron: Maybe instead of meeting me for a drink, ask him if he fancies it instead 

 

Harry: Alright. 

 

Harry: Fuck 

 

Harry: You really don’t care? 

 

Ron: Do you remember our first trip on the Hogwarts Express? 

 

Harry: Before first year? Yeah..

 

Ron: Do you remember how you bought all the sweets from the trolley? 

 

Harry: I’m not sure where this is going...but yes…

 

Ron: That pretty much solidified that you could choose a flobberworm as your life partner and I wouldn’t give a shit. 

 

Ron: Go be bloody happy! 

 

Harry: (:

 

* * *

 

  
  


Draco: Potter, I need to see you in my office. It’s urgent. 

 

Harry: Get your own cinnamon swirl! 

 

Draco: This is far more important than cinnamon swirls 

 

Harry: Then what is it? 

 

Draco: That perfect arse of yours bent over my desk whilst we continue what we started after that oh-so-innocent drink last night...

 

Harry: That does sound gravely important. I’ll be right there 

 

Draco: Right you are, Potter. 

 

Draco: Although, now you mention it... I wouldn’t be *entirely* opposed to you obtaining a cinnamon swirl or two before you do…

 

Harry: -_-

 

Harry: Fine. 

 

Harry: Bur you’re eating it off of me. 

 

Draco: That’s what I’m counting on. 

  
  


 


End file.
